by Nicholas E. Fesko.
I was going through a divorce. I was lonesome. I wanted someone to make me feel attractive, to understand my point of view, and give me hope for a happy life.
So I turned to my PC for help.
My foray into online dating came about slowly. First, I emailed a local newspaper columnist who was seeking stories for an upcoming piece about online dating.
I had no practical experience to relate, but her little byline portrait was cute, so I made up some fluffy stuff and threw in a passing compliment to her looks at the closing, with a hint that maybe we could meet for a drink some time. She wrote me back, thanking me for the compliment (yes!) and then for the story, which she found sweet. When I wrote back, I told her she could use the story if she wanted, as long as I remained anonymous, but asserted that we should definitely meet in person, you know, to discuss the online dating world.
No reply. It was only a day or two before I stopped looking for one. But I got the picture. My sweet little fluffy story didn’t even appear in her subsequent column. So I swallowed my dwindling pride, did a few keyword searches and eventually made the move to full-blown online dating persona. GULP.
This was 2002, the early days for sites like Match.com. At the time it seemed wholesome and harmless enough. I’m all for advancing technology, but at the time I was, uh, under-informed about how to use the technology to that end. I had to have a coworker take my profile photo with his digital camera.
It took a week for me to figure out how to post my entire profile, which cost thirty dollars a month. I spent hours poring over photos and bios and emailed what seemed like every available woman in her 20’s and 30’s within a fifty-mile radius. I mean I really got into it for a while. And you know what happened? Nothing. Not one reply to, seriously, dozens of emails. And no hits on my profile either. How’s THAT for feeling like a loser.
Maybe my picture wasn’t flattering enough. Maybe my profile description was too modest. Anyway, I only paid for two months before pulling the plug. Then I met a great girl through a mutual friend, who went on to become my fabulous wife. And she still is.
So here’s some free advice: if you want to meet people, TALK TO PEOPLE. That’s the only way to get a feeling for what they are like. Don’t email, IM, text, or engage in any sort of ‘interfacing’ that prevents you from direct contact. Save that for later.
Your PC will only show you what you think you want to see, not what actually is. At least when it comes to relating with another person. Besides, leaving the house gives you an excuse to practice your personal hygiene.
About the author: Nicholas works in sales and currently lives in Virginia. His interest includes writing, reading, playing tennis, playing guitar. Some of his favorite books are : The Sun Also Rises, The Great Gatsby, Of Mice and Men, Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas. For movies, he enjoys classics such as School of Rock, Silence of the Lambs, The Godfather, and American Beauty.
