by Mary Powers.
Internet dating can be tricky, you never know if the person is telling the whole truth. Often people fudge on minor details. For example, I tell people I am 30 when I am really 33. Maybe today I’m 130 pounds, but yesterday I was 145 pounds. Little white lies can be expected, but what happened next made me question disclosure ethics in the world of online dating.
I met Miguel online in a dating chat room. He appeared to be funny, sweet, and interesting. After chatting for a few weeks, we agreed to meet in person for a real date.
In the flesh, he was a sultry Latino man with dark thick wavy hair that I looked forward to running my hands through if the opportunity should present itself. We jumped into his yellow sports car and zoomed towards Seattle in search of entertainment.
We arrived at Greenlake, which is a large lake with a three-mile loop around it. Rollerblade, canoe, and paddleboat rentals are available seasonally and the mochas at the little stand by the basketball hoops are toasty on a chilly day.
“Please can we walk around the loop?” I asked. I was an avid nature lover and I had just finished a half-marathon.
Miguel seemed reluctant to do the three-mile jaunt, but he finally agreed. He was a slow walker and I kept hearing a clicking noise when he moved. Assuming it was the keys in his pocket, we continued our walk and talk. At the 1/4 mile post, I noticed sweat was beading down Miguel’s forehead. He was obviously going through an athletic struggle. “He must be out of shape!” I thought.
He groaned and said he wanted to sit down on a bench. “No!” I exclaimed and gave him a recap of an inspiring boot camp-type weight loss reality show I had seen on television.
Miguel sat down on a bench anyway and stared out at the glistening lake. “I have to tell you something,” Miguel said and hung his head. In my extensive dating experience, nothing good ever came after that statement.
Miguel confided he only had one leg, the other was a prosthetic. He lost the other leg in a construction accident. Though he could get around just fine, walking three miles probably wasn’t something he wanted to do if given a choice.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” I wailed. If I had known, I would have chosen a different agenda for the day. Miguel answered, “I don’t tell people because I want to get to know me. They imagine a freak if I tell them before we meet.”
I’ve thought long and hard about this. Though I don’t see him anymore for other reasons, mainly his jealous streak and ill temper, I’ve often wondered: Did he have an ethical duty to disclose this issue before he meets a potential suitor?
About the author: Mary Powers is a recent graduate of the University of Washington and lives in the Pacific Northwest. A paralegal by day, and freelance travel writer by night, she burns the candle at both ends. Her first publication, “The City Dweller’s Travel Guide to Rural Historic Areas in the Pacific Northwest” is being released in June 2007. Known to many as the “Twinkie Queen,” she lives with her dog Emma The Golden Retriever Powers and her husband Mike whom she met on a BLIND DATE!
