by Sara Hodon.

Online dating is not for the faint of heart. It’s good if you post a profile but don’t have the highest expectations in the world, because more often than not, you’ll be disappointed. But if you’re considering trying it—congratulations! You’re far braver than about 80% of the single population out there.

I’m not ashamed to admit that I’m no stranger to the world of online dating. Though I haven’t met a bona fide, “Okay-I-must-be-leaving-now-because-you’re-too-weird-for-words” wacko, I’ve definitely had my share of bad experiences. The hard part is just getting through the date itself. This can be tricky, particularly if you seemed to hit it off so well when you first started talking. Sadly, my friends, a person can post as many pictures as they want, but until you experience the real thing, you can truly only take a picture at face value.

So the real question remains—how do you make it past those awkward moments on a first date?

Unfortunately, I really don’t recommend jumping out of the bathroom window—that is, unless you absolutely have no other choice. As a wise man once said, sometimes you just have to suck it up. It is possible to meet The One online (I know plenty of people who have), but it’s a lot like shopping for bargains—the trick is to sort through the rejects until you get to the one worth keeping.

I’ve been back in the world of dating for awhile now. I thought I’d post a profile again just to see what kind of responses I’d get. As I suspected, there weren’t too many guys who caught my interest. But then—finally! I came across a profile and it really appealed to me. The profile came complete with a few pictures. The person seemed attractive enough to me, so I contacted him. It took him a few days to get back to me, but once he did, we emailed each other back and forth nearly every day. Soon we advanced to talking on the phone, and again, we really seemed to hit it off.

Then, the moment of truth had arrived. We set up a day and time to meet face to face. He left it up to me, so I chose a place that was a good halfway point for both of us and we planned a dinner date. When we finally met, any sliver of attraction I may have felt instantly shriveled up and went away. Basically, I felt like I was going on a date with my younger brother (and I don’t even have a younger brother!) This poor guy looked about 12 years old, so the whole evening took on a creepy feeling rather quickly. Once I realized this, I wanted to get out of there! The waitress worked fast, so there wasn’t much time to talk at any great length. By the end of dinner, I think it was pretty obvious that things weren’t going to progress past that night, but rather than be honest, I took the easy way out and made up a lame excuse about having an early morning the next day (which was true—I was headed to a friend’s bridal shower), but scooted out of there as fast as possible.

I got through that date relatively unscathed, but the one that followed—about two weeks later—has left me a bit wary of the whole dating scene altogether. Again, things were off to a promising start. The guy was a fellow writer, so right there, I thought—Great! We have a lot in common. That tells you how much I know. Every time we had a conversation, this guy mainly talked about himself. He didn’t ask me a single question—not even basics like “What do you do?”, “Where did you go to college?”, etc. Then when I would ask him if he wanted to know anything about me, he got flustered and embarrassed, as though it hadn’t occurred to him that I might have a story, too. But again, I gave him the benefit of the doubt. Besides writing, it seemed that this guy’s other main interest in life was saltwater fish. He talked an awful lot about his aquarium. But everyone has their interests and personality quirks, right?

We talked on the phone for about 2 weeks or so, and again, I suggested we meet so we could get to know each other. We’d hit it off so well—of course it would be fabulous in person! The night of our date didn’t start off so well. He called me an hour before our date, just to see how my day was going. What on earth would we talk about at dinner if I spilled everything on the phone? He kept me waiting in my car because he wasn’t sure if I was there—never mind the fact that I’d been waiting outside the place and I saw him pull into the parking lot, but he didn’t get out of his car! Long story short—his picture was very deceiving, he looked nothing like I’d pictured, he was sporting some serious bling, he was incredibly dressed up for the bar where we were meeting for dinner, and again, there was zero attraction on my side of things. Poor guy—he’d said it had been a long time since he’d dated, and I believed it. I made myself sick, I was so worried about hurting this poor guy’s feelings. I escaped to the bathroom (and did consider making a quick getaway out of the window), and when I came back to the table, I said I thought we should call it a night. I apologized profusely, and then asked him what he was planning to do for the rest of the night. His response? “Probably play with my fish. Sometimes I like to move the rocks around and mess with them.” How do you answer that?

Again, I couldn’t get home fast enough, and once I stopped my full-body shuddering, I proceeded to have a very nice evening on my own. Too bad I wasn’t a mermaid—we probably would’ve hit it off much better!

If you learn nothing else from my story, please remember to just be honest with the other person. Chances are, they’re probably picking up on your vibe, but may be too polite to say anything. It might hurt their feelings, but in the long run, being honest and straightforward right from the start will prevent a lot of hard feelings and hostility later on.

About the author:
Sara lives, works, and plays in northeast Pennsylvania. A part-time freelance writer, she has written about such varied subjects as wind farms, joint replacement surgery, debut novelists, and “The Office” Convention. When not writing or working, Sara is a student in the Master’s program at Kutztown University of Pennsylvania and is trying to stay a step ahead of her “to be read” pile (currently topping 30 books). Other favorites include wine, watching movies, live music, road trips, and pretty much anything cultural.